Wednesday, September 2, 2015

August Angst

Now that it is September, I can write this post - while I'm in my August 'state' there is really no point to talk about it... I only grow more angry! But thankfully August and the angst has past. 

Around the middle of August, I tend to get antsy, have angst and am generally kind of angry, I'm angry at the weather for not being super hot, I'm angry at the sun setting earlier, I'm angry at work that is keeping me indoors, I'm angry that people won't drop everything to go outside with me, but mostly I'm just angry at myself. I always feel like I have not done enough in the summer and disappointed for not making the most of the warm, long days.

I can't decide if this is a normal reaction to the closing of flip flop season or if it is actually a function of actually not getting my plans together and not fulfilling my outdoor summer desires? Even this summer, which found most of my weekends since the beginning of June booked and out of town, I'm still feeling this August syndrome. So it may just be the natural reaction to an all too fast transition into winter (last year it snowed on September 9th!). And it may be the natural reaction, but I'm not going to accept it, just yet. 

But what does one do to avoid this angst and anger and enjoy the last few weeks of the season? I have tried booking vacations at the end of August, planning for winter, and diving into work, but none of those things have abated this feeling. 

To be honest, even when on summer holidays, they don't feel as good as summer vacations should, or as how I remembered them. So what am I doing wrong? I'm at the cabin, the water is warm, the weather is nice, but it just doesn't feel right. What is the missing piece? 

Cabin time this year. Beautiful, but in need of some adventure.
What made summer vacation so special when I was younger?... It was that I was able to do things I couldn't do the rest of the year. I would build forts in the forest, go tubing and water skiing and play kick the can with all of my cousins, staying up late and having wayyy too many marshmallows. It was the adventure. Summers will filled with adventures - biking to random destinations, back country hikes, kayaking between islands I didn't know existed a week prior. Adventures. Check. I need more of them. Problem solved. 

But is it just adventures? I also remember people (one can't play kick the can by ones self!), large groups of family and friends together laughing, sharing stories, food, drinks... 

So maybe the answer is adventures with friends/family. Which, in our hectic world means planning ahead. So maybe for me avoid August Angst desire will involve more adventures, and more friends/family more planning! 

I'm going to test this theory and head out to the mountains in September for a moderately epic trip with a friend and see how I feel after that. And if there's positive feedback, then let the adventure planning for summer and winter begin in order to avoid this August angst. Besides I hear angst is not good for ones heart! 

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